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Half Moon Hill: A Destiny Novel Page 18
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“It’s damn good to see you, brother,” he heard himself say without even planning it.
“You too.” Then Lucky looked to Tessa and Anna—before shifting his eyes back to Duke once more. “Why don’t we take a walk.”
Tessa quickly said, “Yeah, you guys take some time getting caught up. Anna and I can fire up the grill and get the steaks going.”
Duke found himself tossing a glance of thanks in their direction—then he and Lucky headed around the house, past the deck, and toward the woods.
“I don’t know how to begin,” Duke said, “so guess I’ll just spit it all out and see where that leaves us.”
Lucky gave a short nod as they stepped into the dark shade of the trees on the path that led to Whisper Falls.
Funny how, even here, it felt like a safe place to Duke, safer than being out in the open, like shelter, a refuge. It seemed a fitting setting for what he had to say. “I had a hard time after Denny died.”
“I know, man—you sold Gravediggers and went home to Indiana. How could I forget?”
Yeah, maybe that hadn’t needed to be said. But he wasn’t good at this—even after having recently told Anna, this was still hard. Maybe it was hard to let his best friend know how weak he’d become—Lucky was tough, but in ways, Duke had always been the stronger one. He’d always known how to keep feelings from getting in the way of what you had to do to get by sometimes—like that night they’d left the Devil’s Assassins. But then, somewhere along the way, he’d lost that strength.
“Things,” he began, “were maybe even worse than I let on.”
Lucky stopped walking then, looked at him. “How could they be any worse?”
Duke swallowed back what little remained of his pride and said, “I didn’t end up in Indiana. I ended up staying in that old shack you once told me about in the woods beside your sister’s house.”
Lucky just stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.
But Duke simply went on. “I can’t explain it except to say I just needed to . . . be alone. I was . . . having trouble facing people. Or maybe I was having trouble facing myself. Either way, it was just easier being someplace where it felt like . . . I didn’t exist.”
Lucky still appeared dumbfounded. And Duke felt like he’d somehow let Lucky down—he wasn’t the strong one anymore. “How the hell did you survive out there?” Lucky asked. “I mean, that place was in bad shape when I was a teenager—it’s gotta be worse now. Can’t be fit to live in.”
Duke shrugged. “Fish in the pond. Some good camping equipment. An occasional trip into town for supplies. I don’t need much to get by.”
“Don’t?” Lucky asked. “As in you’re still living there?”
Another shrug. “Mostly.”
And again Lucky raised his eyebrows. And Duke realized he’d just stuck his foot into an area where he’d only planned to tiptoe lightly.
Though now he had no choice but to go there. Damn, he wished he’d thought more about what to say. “Some nights I stay at Anna’s place.”
Lucky stayed quiet a moment before speaking. “So you’re saying you and Anna . . .”
It was hard to meet his friend’s eyes in that moment—but he tried. “She’s been . . . good to me. Good for me. I never planned . . . I just started helping her work on the house and . . . it happened.” And when Lucky only remained silent, casting a steely glare Duke’s way, he decided he’d better keep going. “Look, I know you know how I’ve been with women . . . in the past. But I need you to know I respect the hell out of her, Lucky. In fact, I think she’s pretty fucking amazing. And she and I . . . I don’t know where we’re going, and the truth is, I don’t know if either one of us are ready for anything big . . . but, like I said, she’s been great to me, and I appreciate that. And I hope you don’t think I’m a prick for getting involved with her.”
He watched then as Lucky let out a heavy breath, and the air instantly seemed lighter around them. “Dude, you can relax. I’m not Mike. I’m not gonna try to pry into Anna’s life and tell her who she can or can’t see.”
It was like Duke could breathe again, too. “Well, that’s a relief,” he murmured. “I mean, her name’s on your chest, brother.” Duke had been right there watching as Lucky had had his missing little sister’s name etched permanently into his skin, over his heart, back in California during their gang days.
“And I love her,” Lucky said. “But the fact is, despite that I know everything you’ve ever done and that it should probably scare me for you to be with my sister, it doesn’t. You know everything I’ve ever done, too, and I’m still good for Tessa. And there’s nobody I trust more than you, even if you’re with Anna.” Then he cracked half a grin. “Even if it caught me off guard at first. About like your chin did. Where the hell’s your goat, man?”
Duke laughed. Thank God Lucky was being so cool about this. It was only then that Duke realized he’d been far more nervous telling him about Anna than telling him about living in the woods. “Anna made me shave it off.”
At this, Lucky condemningly arched one brow. As if to imply his little sister had Duke whipped that fast.
“Because I’d let it and my hair grow and I looked like a fucking caveman is all. She wanted me to look less scary if I was gonna work on the house. And I guess I don’t much blame her.”
Lucky tilted his head. “Why are you working on her house?”
Duke offered up yet another shrug. “Something to do, I guess. Forgot how much I like that kinda work, actually.”
From there, they talked more about Duke’s choice to retreat to the woods—and he tried to play it off, but he knew it worried Lucky—and he supposed he could understand why. “Just a thing I had to do,” he said.
“A thing you’re about done with?” Lucky suggested.
Duke thought about the question. “Getting there, I guess. But gotta do it my way, in my own time.”
At this Lucky just nodded acceptedly, and Duke was glad his friend wasn’t going to push him on this.
“Truth is, Anna had to twist my arm to come here tonight. I’m just . . . not used to being around people anymore, man.”
“But this is me. And Tessa. We love you.”
Just as Anna had promised him. And he didn’t know when Lucky had gone all soft to start saying stuff like that—he still had the long hair and the tattoos, but Duke decided the sweet people of Destiny must be having an effect on him. Regardless, though, it was good to hear. Hell, he must be going soft, too.
“I know, brother. But after being alone for so long . . . it’s just a little strange is all.” They resumed walking and shared a companionable silence as they approached the falls. And when they both stood looking out over the top, the water flowing calm and serene toward the drop-off, Duke said, “Glad I came, though. Damn glad.”
The four of them sat at a round table on the deck eating dinner as the sun dipped behind the trees, ushering in cooler evening air. Conversation flowed easily, and even if Duke wasn’t as talkative as the rest of them, Anna thought he looked . . . comfortable. And it made her feel happy inside. To have pushed him a little. And just to be there with him—and with her brother and Tessa, too.
“Seems like you’re settling in at the bookstore,” Tessa said to Anna. And she couldn’t deny to herself that maybe Amy’s big plan was working—maybe spending time at Under the Covers was bringing Anna the rest of the way back out of her shell and making her appreciate socializing again.
She nodded, smiled. “I guess I am. It was a good decision, so I’m glad Amy prodded me into it.”
“Sometimes Amy’s proddings,” Tessa said with a tilt of her head, “lead to good things. She pushed me toward Lucky very early in our relationship. And she definitely pushed Rachel toward Mike.”
Though Amy had told Anna she’d given up being the town matchmaker once she’d found Logan, Anna found herself wondering what Amy would think of her and Duke together, or if she’d have any insights to impart.
“Speaking o
f Rachel and Mike,” Lucky said, shaking his head incredulously, “I still can’t believe they’re having a baby.”
Duke blinked, the news drawing him from his silence. “Mike is gonna be a father? Damn, that poor kid!” And they all laughed.
“Like I said that night after the ball game,” Anna announced, “if it’s a girl, it’s going to be Aunt Anna to the rescue, for sure.”
“But at least maybe this will give him something to do besides monitoring your every move,” Tessa suggested with a playful raise of her eyebrows.
“Well, that would be a perk,” Anna agreed. Then she gave her head a tilt, thinking of another of their friends. And looking to Tessa, she said, “I don’t know if I should say this, but . . . I’m worried that Jenny isn’t doing well with the news. Given that she’s been trying to get pregnant and can’t.”
Tessa sighed. “Yeah, I don’t think so, either. It’s a tough situation. And tough for Rachel, too—just in a different way. I can scarcely imagine two people less emotionally prepared to have a baby than her and Mike right now. It’ll change their whole lives. And I know they were using birth control, so I understand why they were so surprised.”
After that, Lucky caught them up on his son from a previous relationship, Johnny, who was now twelve—going on sixteen suddenly, according to his father. “Starting to worry me,” he said, “ ’cause I don’t want him turning out like me.”
But Tessa shushed him. “You mean you don’t want him going down the wrong paths the way you did. Otherwise, though, I hope he turns out exactly like you.”
“Probably need to get him interested in something where you can keep an eye on him,” Duke said, surprising Anna by adding to the conversation. “If somebody’d done that for me when I was a kid—really showed an interest—might’ve made a difference.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Lucky said, “so I’ve got him helping me fix up an old clunker I bought from Willie Hargis—a beat-up old Skylark I’m gonna run in the demo derby the last weekend in July.”
“Demo derby?” Anna asked. “What’s that?”
“A demolition derby,” Tessa answered for her husband, instantly looking more irritated than happy. “It’s being held in Creekside Park—the first time Destiny has ever had one, but they’re hoping to make it an annual event.” Finished eating now, Anna’s sister-in-law crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “Lucky just has to be in it. Even though he knows I don’t like it.”
“Look, honey,” he said, “the fact is, riding around on a motorcycle is probably way more dangerous than driving a car in a demo derby.” But then he stopped and glanced toward Duke, clearly remembering what he’d recently been through. “Sorry, buddy—that was thoughtless of me.”
But Duke gave his head a short shake. “Nah, it’s just the truth.” His eyes went a little vacant at the reminder, though, and Anna wished it hadn’t happened probably as much as Lucky did. The two of them exchanged looks, and she wondered if her brother could see in her eyes how much she hated Duke’s pain, how she wished she could take it away.
Then Lucky switched his gaze back to Duke. “You oughta come around some at night—help me work on it. Almost got it running—but trying to teach Johnny about engines at the same time is slowing me down some. Could use the help.”
Duke was slow in answering. “I don’t know,” he murmured, shaking his head softly.
Lucky offered a gentle nod in reply.
And it seemed like time for a change in subject, but Anna couldn’t think of one. So she was glad when Tessa said to her across the table, “You’re coming to Miss Ellie’s this weekend, right?”
Even if she didn’t really have an answer. “Um . . . I barely know the woman.”
“Well, I’m sure you knew her when you were a little girl. And despite what you might expect, her parties are always fun—and sometimes interesting things happen there.”
“That’s right,” Lucky said.
And Anna blinked. “Even you go to these events?”
“Yeah, brother—seriously?” Duke chided him.
Lucky looked only slightly embarrassed as he said, “I know it doesn’t seem like my kinda thing, but I went for Tessa the first time—and it was okay. And it’s where the entire town accidentally found out about her tattoo.” Which Anna knew was a chain of daisies around her ankle.
And she had to admit, “Well, that does sound sort of interesting.”
“And rumor has it,” Tessa leaned a bit closer to say, “that there’s going to be some big surprise at this particular soiree. So I wouldn’t miss it for the world. And you shouldn’t, either.”
Anna turned the idea over in her head. Given her recent appreciation of being more social again, the idea almost appealed now. And though it wouldn’t be fun to be the proverbial third wheel attending with a bunch of couples like Lucky and Tessa—who knew, maybe she could talk Duke into going, too. But for now, she just said, “Maybe. We’ll see.”
Tessa’s eyes brightened. “Good. I’ll definitely talk you into it before the weekend.” Then she smiled. “It really is good to be seeing more of you out and about, Anna. I’m glad you came tonight. I know I’ve seen you some at the bookstore lately, and the night you went to the ball game with us, but after spending time with you decorating your house last winter, I’ve missed you.” Which warmed Anna’s heart almost more than she could fathom. She was still absorbing the sentiment when Tessa looked to Duke. “And it’s so good to see you, too, Duke—even if I barely recognize you.” She ended with a wink.
It surprised Anna when his reply was a rare, sheepish one. “Yeah, I’m thinking I should grow a beard again, cover this thing up.” He pointed to his scar—and Anna’s heart broke a little more for him.
But Tessa’s answer was perfect. “I don’t know, I think it’s kinda sexy. Dangerous. Like bikers are supposed to be.”
“Hey now,” Lucky said on a laugh, “the only biker you better be thinking’s sexy is me.”
Anna watched then as Tessa and Lucky exchanged a look she envied, a look of sureness, of knowing, of . . . slow, enduring passion. “Don’t worry, my big bad biker—you know my heart belongs to you.”
And yet it was Anna’s heart that suddenly beat harder—from a sense of jealousy she never would have expected, from wishing what she and Duke had was . . . more.
A few minutes later as the two couples still sat talking, Lucky tilted his head to say, “One thing—you never said why you didn’t go to Indiana like you planned, to your family.”
Anna saw Duke’s scar twitch, watched his eyes drift to someplace distant again—before he said, “Just didn’t work out that way.”
It wasn’t much of an answer, but Lucky let it drop. So Anna didn’t pursue it, either—though it was the first time the question had crossed her mind. She’d known from Lucky that had been Duke’s general plan, but when Duke had turned up in her woods, she’d had far more urgent questions for him.
“You know what we should do?” Tessa said out of the blue.
“What’s that, babe?” Lucky asked.
“Let’s go to the Dew Drop for a little while.”
The Dew Drop Inn was Destiny’s only watering hole, and Anna had been there a few times last summer. “Sounds good to me,” she said—right as Duke answered, “Um, I’ll pass.”
Tessa let out a disappointed sigh—as Anna tried to hold hers inside. “Come on,” Tessa said. “I’m in the mood to have a little fun.”
“Fact is, dude,” Lucky added, “it’ll be quiet there tonight. Big softball tournament going on—most people’ll be at the park.”
And in one way Anna hated to prod him—she’d already prodded him in so many ways, and maybe he would lose his tolerance if she kept it up—but she still heard herself quietly saying, “Come on, let’s go—just for a little while. It’ll be nice.” And she nudged his ankle through his jeans with her flip-flop-clad foot under the table for good measure—surprised that even such small contact reminded her how good it felt w
hen their bodies touched.
Duke looked over at her and their eyes met. And even now, even sitting with her brother and his wife, she felt it in her gut, and below. That connection—it was more than just physical. Way more than just physical. And in that moment she understood that it was even way more than just powerful chemistry. It had grown. It had . . . bloomed, like a flower, like a bud opening and expanding into something far greater and more complex and beautiful than she ever could have foreseen when this had first started.
She was . . . in love with him.
“Well?” she heard herself whisper. And for some reason, her skin tingled and her stomach churned while she waited for his answer.
Until he said quietly, “Sure, Daisy—you want to go, we’ll go.”
“Tonight I gave you my soul . . .”
Gaston Leroux, The Phantom of the Opera
Fourteen
“But only for a few minutes,” he added.
“Okay,” she murmured in reply, dumbfounded. By what she’d just realized.
I love him. I’m in love with him.
It was scary. Far more scary than just sleeping with an ex-outlaw-gang member. Because now . . . now she was in it, deep, in a way she knew she couldn’t pull out of. And once you loved somebody—oh boy, it opened you up for . . . everything. Hurt, heartbreak, neglect. What if he never felt the same way? What if he never got past the wounds still festering inside him? What if he never opened up to her completely? What if he just kept retreating to the woods, running from everything, including her?
Or what if he stopped running, faced life head-on—but still didn’t want her in the way she now wanted him? What if he just never loved her back? Because he didn’t have the capacity to? Or—maybe even worse—because once he got himself back together he decided he just wasn’t that into her?
He leaned slightly forward then. “Are you okay? You look weird.”
“Thanks a lot,” she said, trying to laugh it off as she realized that all three of her companions now watched her, appearing slightly concerned. “I’m . . . fine. Just can’t believe you actually agreed to do something so crazy as have a little fun is all. That’s not like you.”